The Mentoring Project staff has had the opportunity to become friends with a great man, father, husband, and believer, Ed Eason. Ed has played onstage with numerous well known artists; however, the most current with Carrie Underwood. Here is his story of growing up without a father and how mentoring truly works. Thank you Ed!

In a single parent household, fifty percent of all children will lose regular contact with their fathers within two years. Let me share a glimpse into that world. Here is what that statistic looked like to me. I was raised in it.

My childhood changed dramatically when my parents divorced. We went from a nice two story brick house to living in a trailer on a horse boarding farm in Texas. My mother was in vet school and doing everything in her power to raise three boys and pursue a better life for us. This became very complicated for her and eventually, she had to quit vet school. She later married a man, who my two brothers and I thought was great. We thought we were back to “the good life” as a family. What we didnʼt know is that he began beating her on their honeymoon. Within six months we were sent away to live with a friend of hers until my mother could run away from that man. She did just that and we picked up a new life in a small town in south Texas. He continued to threaten her and our family. We rented a pit bull, junk yard dog…literally from a junk yard in San Antonio. I remember sitting in the back seat of an old beat up car with my family while the dog, Brandy, got used to being around us. The owner sat in the front seat holding the dog. I was probably nine. The abusive step-dad eventually was killed by a drunk driver while changing a tire on the side of the road. Our family could breathe again. Unfortunately, after this, there were numerous other experiences with equally unsavory people. Experiences no child or family should go through. We continued on with our life a little more bruised, a little more tattered, and a whole lot less innocent.

ED W/MENTOR & FRIEND GEORGE FRANKLIN

During this period, around ten years old, a miracle came that would forever change my life. A friend of my mother told her about a man named George Franklin. He felt George would be a great mentor for me. George, a father of two girls, is a “man’s man”, a mechanic and avid outdoorsman. He is rough around the edges, still has the toughest hands I’ve ever felt, has a huge heart for God and is a great family man. George picked me up one fall afternoon at our apartment in his tan, four wheel drive Chevy S10. I didn’t know anything about George except that he had two daughters and he offered to take me deer hunting. That’s it. That’s all I knew. He took me to the market for some snacks and off we headed down the highway. Now, what George didn’t know was I was scared to death! I didn’t know him, I didn’t know where he was taking me and he had a gun. I was one terrified boy! I kept one eye on him the entire time while plotting my get away if needed.

We drove out to a ranch that afternoon and watched for deer. The only deer we saw, which I didn’t get a chance to shoot, is still engrained into my mind. He was the quintessential buck with a tall, wide rack. We left without seeing anything else and George was so apologetic. I was just glad to be heading home safely, albeit discouraged I didn’t get to shoot a deer. I got home that night and told my mother I never wanted to go deer hunting again. I did go with George again shortly after that and I got my first deer. George was so proud and boasted to everyone about what a good shot I was and how I took that deer with one perfect shot.

His family made me a part of their family. He became one of the greatest influences in my life. He took me to church, introduced me to the bible, and I was baptized at their church. Today, when I wrestle my boys I still remember how it felt to wrestle George and how much I loved it. I scratch my boys with my whiskers just like George used to scratch me. I squeeze them really tight when we wrestle and make the same sound George used to make when he squeezed me till I thought I would pop. I often thank God for George and his family for taking a boy in as one of their own and introducing me to a whole new world. Words can never describe my gratitude!

I canʼt imagine my life without a strong, Christian male like George. He has forever impacted not only mine but my familyʼs lives forever. Thank you, Jesus, for a mentor like George.

As a father who has experienced the power of mentoring, God has placed mentorship on my heart. While on tour, I travel around the country seeking mentors to teach me all the things I could ever want to teach my three boys and everything a boy could ever want to learn. I film these Mentor Quest sessions to be used as mentor videos for other men. Iʼve experienced how building relationships through mentorship leads to amazing opportunities to speak into anotherʼs life. I also encourage men in the church to not only mentor children but to mentor other men. That is a great, untapped resource the church has. Can you imagine a family having financial struggles and an accountant from the church mentoring them on their finances? Do you think that family will be forever thankful and willing to listen to spiritual truths now that they have been helped out of a financial pit? Can you imagine how you would feel if you were a struggling small business owner and a successful business man from church took you under his wing and mentored you to success? How about a mechanic taking a young man under his wing teaching him a trade for use in a career? The possibilities are endless. There is so much depth and potential in mentorship, itʼs staggering.

I canʼt imagine my life without mentoring. I canʼt imagine all the lives that can be forever changed through mentoring. Lives completely rocked. I dare you to imagine. I challenge you to take that first step towards mentoring. I promise, it is one decision you will never regret.

Please check out more about Ed’s story :  http://bitly.com/zQaS91. If you would like to connect with what he is doing with Mentor Quest please email eason@mentorquest.tv.

www.mentorquest.tv

Since their doors opened in 2008, Wild Goose Coffee has donated over 85,000 pounds of food to their local food bank from its coffee sales, and this is just the beginning. TMP has partnered with Wild Goose Coffee to bring great coffee to you—whether for you personally, for your work place, your congregation, or for your community. For every pound of coffee you purchase, Wild Goose Coffee will donate $.50 to TMP! Whether you go through one pound of coffee per month or even 100 pounds, your purchase benefits fatherless youth.

About Wild Goose Coffee, Inc.: Nathan has been invited to speak to hundreds of local business leaders to tell the Wild Goose story alongside other successful social entrepreneurs, and the company he founded was recently featured in an article by Riverside Press-Enterprise.  To read more about Wild Goose Coffee and their story please visit their About Us page.

The logistics:  If you are an individual customer, please enter “TMP” in the special instructions section of the checkout on their Webstore. If you are interested in a wholesale account, please contact Nathan Westwick directly at nate@wildgoosecoffee.com and make sure to let him know you were referred by TMP.

For more information on this partnership and how your coffee purchases will benefit The Mentoring Project, please contact Trevor Weber at trevor@thementoringproject.org.

We encourage you to support TMP by making Wild Goose a part of your regular coffee routine.

THANK YOU AND HAPPY BREWING!

“You teach MidDLe ScHoOL? But they are the worst! I could NeVeR do that! Why?” I am asked incessantly. With middle schoolers, it is still possible to change their futures. After being laid off in June, I came to the conclusion that imparting knowledge was not enough – I needed relationships and mentoring to be first, and curriculum second.

Are teachers allowed to say that curriculum comes second? Well no; it’ll just be our little secret.

Our small classes allow for regular check-ins, accountability, and lasting relationships to be built. Relationships and parenting/modeling come before our subjects. How important is knowing the difference between its and it’s or the circumference of a circle if he or she can’t hold down a job, gets involved in drugs, or worse yet – ends up in jail or dead?

“Ms. Knox, you’re like my favorite teacher. Will you come to my eighth grade graduation?” Eliana, who is expelled, says in a voice you want to hug. By the end of the semester, it was impossible to imagine why many of our students had gotten expelled in the first place. That’s what relationships do – change lives.

According to Michael Gurian, in his book, A Fine Young Man,

“Unless the fire inside a boy is carefully refined by parents, mentors and educators, the physical, emotional, moral, spiritual, and social lives of all our young man will be consumed by flames. Some of these flames we’ll see quite clearly in adolescent drug use, alcohol abuse, criminal behavior, juvenile death…learning disabilities, brain disorders, and obsession with girls.”

This is evidenced in our classroom: out of our 31 students, only 16%, or 5, are female. The boys are in for a litany of incidents, but 100% of the girls are in for fighting. The majority of our students are not “bad” because they choose to be, but because they have never been taught or modeled. Without a father figure, we have inevitably become their second parent. And even then, we are still female. With 80% of our kids coming from matriarchal households, it is no wonder they respond so well to our Aide, Memphis. He can get them to straighten up as if he were an officer stopping traffic.

Eliana (8^th grade and 13-years-old), describes what life is like without her father, who lives in an inpatient facility after a debilitating car accident:

When my dad was home, he used to make us get up early and be fit and we always ate healthy. He cooked way better than my mom too. With my mom working long hours at the cannery, there is no time for food cooked at home – it’s mostly McDonald’s now. We used to take family trips to Seattle and all over. We would spend all weekend together, but now we just go visit him where he lives. My mom’s life has changed because now she has to work all the time. She is depressed and cries all the time out of nowhere because she misses him in her life. He always gave us long talks to make sure we were doing well – sometimes an hour or longer,  – and he never yelled. He was fun and had a good attitude. Now it’s weird, since we have no dad at home, my brother has become the father figure, and he doesn’t talk – he yells. He can’t cook, either.  He’s nineteen, and he’s annoying. But, I do wish we could spend more time together and not fight.

As you can see, Eliana’s father is still in the picture, technically, but the chasm is great, and filling that void is impossible. Her oldest brother has tried, but there is no substitution for her dad. Being the youngest of three and with their being a five-year gap between her and her next brother, she was spoiled and was definitely daddy’s little girl.  She was forced to enroll at our school last March for fighting. I can only imagine the hour-long talk her dad would have given her last February with his loud, boisterous voice once she told him about the drama that the other girls were causing during her seventh grade year. If only. On her last day, I made her molten lava chocolate cake and she curled my hair into a thousand vertical springs.

“Do you see your parents much? This wand is the best to curl hair…I always curl my cousin’s hair…I burned myself, but only when I do the back…it’s 410 degrees. I love the food at my dad’s place. He gets extra pudding for me. The sub was so mean yesterday. The other teacher is better than you. You’ll be my favorite teacher if you___. Will you take me to the library?”

As you can see, she likes to talk. And, all she needs is someone to listen. To really hear what she is saying.

It’s stories like Eliana’s and the pleas of parents and students who want to be able to stay more than one semester in this ridiculously strict environment that keep me coming back. I am teaching these students so I can change legacies. As our staff says, “If not now, when; if not you, who?”

-Christa Knox

This past weekend mentors and their mentees in Memphis, TN came face to face with a handful of grizzlies at the Memphis Grizzlies NBA basketball game.

Not only were they able to attend, but they became fully immersed in the experience: meeting the players, going to center court at halftime, and having seats close to courtside! All this was made possible by The Grizzlies Team Up mentoring program and God’s grace to these youth!

TMP’s Memphis City Contact, Kevin Hommel, explains it best in his own words:

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The experience was incredible.

Here is a rundown of how the night went.  First, I got to do a TV interview with Fox Sports during the pre-game show.  I got to tell the story of The Mentoring Project and how we launched it in Memphis. Also, I was able to give out the website so that anyone interested could explore how to be a part of it, start it in their city, or join our group here in Memphis. It was about a 3-4 minute interview followed by the Grizzlies announcers plugging TMP and encouraging people to step up. I am shaking as I write this, that is how exciting and emotional it was.

While I was doing this, the boys got to be on the court shaking hands with the Grizzlies players as they came out of the tunnel to do the shoot-around.

Then at halftime, my mentee and his brother, as well as my son and I got to go out to center court. They recognized me as Mentor of the Game, talked about my experience with my mentee, and told the story of The Mentoring Project over the loud speaker for all the fans to hear.

It was an incredible experience for our group, and TMP got a significant amount of exposure throughout the night.

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If you would like to get involved in TMP Memphis or simply with The Mentoring Project please contact Trevor Weber at trevor@thementoringproject.org.

As the conductor of an orchestra beautifully creates a musical masterpiece by carefully guiding individual sounds to work in unison, so The Mentoring Project is grateful for how God has carefully orchestrated the events of this past year into a masterpiece of his own. The year 2011 brought many interviews, trainings, grants, and amazing ventures across the country, but more importantly it transformed lives through mentoring fatherless youth. We are grateful for every individual, faith community, organization and foundation that has been part of this past year and has helped enable the following to occur:

• In January TMP was featured in Christianity Today and a TMP mentor and mentee pair visited the White House

• February was the National release of the TMP toolkit

• March held the first Portland training of 2011

• May brought a CNN Reporter to interview a TMP mentor and mentee, a Chase Community Giving grant, and TMP national city conference calls

• In June TMP was given a grant through the Mission Increase Foundation, the TMP Mentor Toolkit was featured by YouthWorker Journal, and TMP President John Sowers was featured in InTouch Magazine

• In July TMP received the Portland Timbers Foundation grant, and 500 people attended TMP’s Mentor Leader event with Coach Tony Dungy: 90 signed up to mentor, 25 to donate, and 120 to spread the word about TMP

• In August Christian News NW featured the Mentor leader

• September featured TMP in The Oregonian newspaper twice

• By November’s end TMP had trained 255 mentors in 2011 in Portland

• Finally, in December TMP received the Giving of Life Grant and over 400 mentors were trained nationally outside of Portland in 2011

The Mentoring Project Team wishes you a wonderful 2012 and is grateful for what 2011 brought. In light of January being National Mentoring Month and as you move forward this year would you consider becoming a part of the orchestra through further supporting TMP? Whether you decide to support TMP by joining the mission, giving to the cause of the fatherless, or simply spreading the word, we are grateful. Thank you and blessings for 2012.

Robert says, “When I look at Aaron, from the first time I saw him…I saw myself.”

Check out Robert and Aaron’s story.

When we find a boy a mentor, we cross his name off the waiting list.

Here in Portland the list is 1000 names long.

With your help, we will take it down to zero and end the list.

]]> http://thementoringproject.org/blog/mentormentee-spotlight-robert-and-aarons-story/feed/ 2 http://thementoringproject.org/blog/a-perfect-match-harold-and-macs-story/ http://thementoringproject.org/blog/a-perfect-match-harold-and-macs-story/#comments Wed, 28 Sep 2011 15:00:53 +0000 Shawnte http://thementoringproject.org/?p=2508 The world of mentoring is one with many different inroads. For some, the call to mentor is as easy as walking from one side of the street to the other to help a Samaritan. For others, there is a struggle – a desire to do good accompanied by whispered fears of inadequacy, incompatibility and insufficient time.

However the journey starts, mentoring requires taking a first step. For mentor and mentee pair Harold and McGwire, nicknamed “Mac”, the first step of their mentoring relationship began on a painful foot. Two weeks after being matched, Mac’s grandfather passed away.

While the loss of a grandparent is painful for most people, this loss was an especially painful change in Mac’s life, as they had an unusually close relationship. A former professional baseball player, Marine, businessman and philanthropist, Mac’s grandfather, Harold Saltzman, was his role model and his hero – a hero that shared the same name as Mac’s new mentor.

Harold and Mac at our breakfast meet & greet with Tony Dungy this past summer.

Mac and Harold’s first activity together was going to the library to do a little military history research. Upon sitting and delving into their studies, Harold noticed the slight crinkling noise of a plastic wrapper underneath the library table. He leaned over to discover Mac was opening a small package of Oreo cookies. “I’m not sure, but are you supposed to eat in the library?” Harold asked. Mac shrugged his shoulders. “Well are you gonna share ‘em?” came his second question. “I don’t know,” replied Mac. “Well, you better hand one of those things over to me. If you’re going to get in trouble, then I am too.”

Shortly after the loss of his grandfather, Mac’s dog, that had been his constant companion since birth, passed away. In pain and hurt over the loss of this beloved family pet, Mac turned to Harold, his new mentor. While his grandfather was no longer able to be there for Mac, he now had Harold to turn to, to ask questions of – about death and about life, a new, strong shoulder to lean on.

And though at first unsure whether or not this 12-year old boy from another country would be able to connect with a seasoned retiree, Harold and Mac have become an unlikely set of friends.

It’s been almost a year since Mac and Harold have become friends. And since that time they have done a lot together; from their trip to the library to going fishing with a group of military veterans to a trip to his grandfather’s gravesite, Mac and Harold, despite age and cultural differences have become friends.

Proof of this friendship came when a Big Brother Big Sisters rep asked Mac how he thought their mentoring relationship was going. Mac said, “Well, I don’t know how you did it, but you made a perfect match.”

Mac, a 12-year old boy with the gift of intellect, quick wit and a fondness for plain hamburgers and Harold, a gregarious retiree with a sense of adventure and a heart of gold – make a perfect match.

When we find a boy a mentor, we cross his name off the waiting list.

Here in Portland the list is 1000 names long.

With your help, we will take it down to zero and end the list.

Join us

Donate

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Not long ago, I met my mentee for the first time. He’s 10 years old and lives in a fatherless home with 9 other people. When I met him I told him was that I just wanted to be his friend, someone that would listen when he talked about stuff. My guess is that when you live with 10 people, you probably aren’t heard (really heard) a whole lot.

When I picked him up for our first get-together, his mom said, “He got up early this morning and got all dressed and ready for you. He is so excited.” That evening, after eating dinner together we ended up going to a sporting goods store. At one point he tried on a football helmet and got his head stuck in it! I found myself thinking, “Why was I so nervous?

One of the things that stuck out the most to my mentee that night was a flag football set. It was just a small Nerf football and some flags. And, until recently, I had forgotten all about it. One day when we were playing basketball, I began to tell him about all of the cool things we were trying to set up for our group of Memphis mentors and mentees to do together – attend Pro football practices, baseball games and more. His response to these excited plans was comical –  “Sounds like fun, but when are we going to play flag football?”

I laughed so hard! Out of all we’d talked about, he remembered that Nerf football set more than anything else. So the next afternoon, we went out to play football. My lesson that day was a valuable one. While I am sure he will enjoy all the big activities we are working to set up for our mentoring community, what he communicated to me loud and clear that day was that he just wanted to hang out.

As mentors, any event you plan with your mentee, big or small, makes a difference in the life of a young person and is time well spent.

Men in Memphis, you have a brotherhood forming right now and we are welcoming you to join us. If you are not in Memphis, you too can start this in your city.

If we all join together to mentor fatherless kids think of all the prisons we can effectively shut down, the amount of teen suicides we can help prevent, and the generation of broken children to whom we can properly introduce to its true Father.

For more information, or if you would like to get involved in TMP Memphis, please contact Trevor Weber at trevor@thementoringproject.org. For more general information on how to get involved, please visit our Join Us page.

Since June there have been several mentor training sessions held around the country. Ocala, FL trained 18 mentors Oklahoma City trained 10 and Cleveland trained 11!

As well, trainings have taken place in Irvine, CA, Ginger Creek, IL and Memphis, TN recruiting a combined total of almost 50 mentors!

That’s close to 100 children’s lives changed by someone stepping up to become a mentor! These faith communities have worked hard to push for mentors and the work is paying off and we’re excited to hear the stories that will happen as a result of these mentors and mentees being paired up in life-changing friendships.

Across the country City Conversations are progressing as well – taking place in over ten cities including: Carlisle and Eerie, PA; Memphis, TN; Tomball, TX; Oklahoma City, OK; Des Moines, IA; Las Vegas, NV and more! Most of these cities are a part of our National Cities Conference Call that happens once a month. It is during this monthly phone call that leaders and advocates from across the country connect and share ideas to support one another as they continue to answer the call to recruit, train and sustain mentors in their communities.

We all would appreciate your prayers and support for all of the volunteers and leaders in each of these cities as they do the hard work to establish communities equipped to respond to the crisis of fatherlessness.

If you are a part of a faith community that is involved with TMP and people in your church are mentoring, please share your stories with us! If you have not yet become involved with TMP but would like to, please fill out our National Churches Form.

We look forward to sharing with you all that God is doing to care for the fatherless through mentoring across the country, next month. Stay tuned!